


Jenny

by KennysMagicDog



Category: South Park
Genre: Fluff, Just Cyute Shit, M/M, Nothing Scary Here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 17:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18480643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KennysMagicDog/pseuds/KennysMagicDog
Summary: Cartman has a plan, one that involves stealing a certain boy's shirt. But for all the wrong, and really gay reasons.





	Jenny

**Author's Note:**

> In case you're confused about the title, it's just referencing the song made by Studio Killers. If you know the song, then you'll see what I did in here.

“Dammit, Butters! Throw harder!” Cartman whisper-yelled to the blonde next to him, who held a pile of rocks and pebbles in his right arm. The blonde had been wearing a light teal jacket, and a worry filled expression on his face. 

 

“Sorry, Eric..”

 

Cartman crumbled the piece of paper in his hands, then promptly threw it at Butters with a melodramatic sigh. “How is that gonna get his attention!? You could be throwing marshmallows at the fucking window and it’d have the same effect. I should have just bought a new ladder...” He grumbled through the last bit, putting his hand up over his forehead, brushing his chestnut bangs out of the way. Butters picked out a rock with his left hand, and gave Cartman an apologetic look getting ready to throw it. “Well jeez, I don’t wanna break his window-” He was cut off by a rustling sound from above. Cartman immediately looked up, relief flashing through his eyes upon the sight. 

 

The window had been pulled up, revealing a redheaded boy sporting a black and white T-Shirt with his arm leaning on the window sill. His scarlet curls were a disheveled mess, once Cartman laid eyes on the hair he froze for a moment, surprised that the boy  _wasn't_ wearing his hat. He felt a slight heat spread over his cheeks. “You better not want to break my fucking window. What do you two want?” He spoke loudly enough for the pair to hear, but still carried his angry tone. 

 

This made Butters gulp worriedly, and back away just a little. Cartman on the other hand, had been too caught up staring at Kyle. He tried speaking, but it came out slurred and quiet. “We were gonna ask...” Kyle gave him a dirty look, his dark eyes glistened in the soft moonlight, and the messy hair had lured Cartman into a hypnotic trance that he openly welcomed. He was harshly snapped out of it when the boy spoke again, with more anger showing through. “Well? Come on, fatass. I’m not gonna wait here all night.” 

 

Cartman reddened with embarrassment, and started to sweat while trying to find his words. He whined out a quick retort. “Your daywalker hair is distracting me, dammit!” To this, Kyle scoffed with a furrow of his brows. “I can tell.”

 

Butters found the smallest bit of courage to pipe up and speak. “Uhm, we were gonna ask if we could-” But he was quickly interrupted by the boy next to him, who lightly shoved him aside to get into Kyle’s view that had shifted to Butters when he tried to talk. “We want one of your T-Shirts! We were gonna use it to attract the man-eating beetles in our backyards.” 

 

“Man-eating beetles.” Kyle looked already tired of this conversation, and just glowered at Cartman, squinting his eyes. “Why don’t you use one of your own shirts to attract them? I don’t want to keep being included in your retarded lies and schemes.”

 

“Kahhhhlllllll! We can’t use our own because they’ll end up smelling the same smell on us, then they’ll just attack us! How are we gonna catch them if they’re eating us alive? Your shirt will distract them and give us time to sneak up on ‘em!” Cartman said with wild hand movements, trying so desperately to convince the boy, not really noticing the wrong pronunciation of the other boy’s name like always. 

 

Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose and thought for a moment. “If I give you one of my shirts, will you leave me alone?” He asked with a tired groan. Cartman beamed and nodded excitedly with a grin. He saw the boy disappear into the dark room and he waited patiently while keeping his eyes on the open window. He soon came back to the window with a shirt in one of his hands that was red and white with some random design on the back. He threw it down, and Cartman caught it carefully, not daring to let it touch the ground. 

 

“Now get the fuck out of here.” With that, he slammed his window shut. Any harder and he would’ve broken the glass into millions of tiny pieces. Cartman celebrated a silent victory in his head, then motioned under Butters’ gaze to follow him.

 

They quickly arrived to Cartman’s doorstep, and the larger boy opened the door letting Butters in. He walked ahead of the blonde and made a beeline to the backyard to which Butters followed like an obedient puppy. They finally made it out onto the dimly lit porch, and Butters looked at him expectantly.

 

“Okay, now Butters, you hold this.” He handed the blonde a squirt gun that was sitting on the ground, filled with yellow liquid. Butters gave him a confused glance and darted his eyes to the weirdly  _warm_ squirt gun. Cartman rolled his eyes, and stared at him with an irritated glare. He spoke reluctantly. “It’s just lemon juice. Lemon extract can stun them for about 60 seconds, so when you get back to your house you can just lock the doors and keep it on you in case one comes to attack you. I’m gonna stay here and see if the experiment _actually_ works. Now run! If you stay here much longer they might be able to smell you!” 

 

Butters smiled, and held the gun close to him. He thanked Cartman before running off to his house without another word. Once the blonde was out of sight, Cartman looked down at the shirt in his hands and let out a breath he was holding onto. He held the red and white piece of clothing tightly, and walked back into his house as if nothing had happened. He ran up to his room and kept the shirt close to his chest. Without thinking, he smiled giddily with a pink tinge poisoning his cheeks. He was thankful his plan had worked, and that Butters was gullible enough to believe in man-eating beetles. And that the gun wasn't just full of piss. What an idiot. 

 

He walked into his slightly messy room, and turned the nightstand lamp on. He laid the shirt gently onto his bed, and slipped his maroon jacket off along with his fluffy snow boots and signature blue hat. After, he sat on the bed and picked the red shirt back up, only to bring it up to his face to cuddle into it, not caring about how gay this all was. It smelled just like Kyle, and was warm like the boy had been wearing it before he gave it away. Cartman flopped down on his bed, still keeping the shirt as close as possible, using it kind of like a pillow. It’d make a nice pillow case, he thought. He smiled to himself, feeling that familiar heat rise in his chest. He soon drifted off to sleep, keeping that same sweet smile over his face.   

**Author's Note:**

> I've been making tons of little oneshots like this, but I keep getting distracted while I write them no thanks to my stupid brain. It's like I have the attention span of a fucking goldfish. I'll go back and work on them because I genuinely like the ideas and want to do something with them, so if you liked this then yay there's more to come.


End file.
